Still...a small voice

LOVE SONGS


OK......So this is pretty funny...
It may seem to be a stretch, but stick with me...
I think it will make sense....
At least it did for me...

I was in my kitchen this morning...
I decided I was going to make Italian Wedding soup...
My son's favorite.

I turned on my little TV...
And I began mixing the meatball ingredients....
The minute I stuck my hands into all that raw meat.....
An infomercial started......

I was a captive audience...
There was no way I way going to touch that television....
My hands were elbow deep in meatball goop...
I wasn't touching anything.

Next thing I know....
I am completely into this thing....
My gaze is fixed on the screen....
I feel that lump forming in my throat...
Before I know it...
Tears are streaming down my cheeks.

That's right.....
I was moved to tears by an infomercial.
Which one you ask?

Power Of Love...Love songs from the 70's, 80's and 90's
Yep...I told you this was going to get a little crazy...
Every other song they played took me back ....
Memories flooded my mind.
There were songs that reminded me of my childhood...
They were the records that my parent's used to play.
Then all of my favorites from high school...
Representing true love and true heartbreak....
Music from my days of hitting the club...
Tearing up the dance floor.

And there I was....
In my kitchen....
Rolling meatballs....
Reliving my past.

When I heard the voice of God....
He said.....
"There you go"

What?
What do you mean?
There you go?

Then I remembered....
Just this past Wednesday...
I was ticked...
Really angry.

I was mad at God...
And I let Him know it.
I said it right out loud...

"This is not fair....This is not where I wanted to be at 47yrs old"

Believe me...everyone in my house knew what I was feeling..
I texted my daughter, Tara and I told her.
Tara sent me back encouraging texts....
Telling me to look at all of the blessings I had received.

My children and grandchildren...
MY amazing husband..
God's provision during this entire season.

Yea..Yea...I know...
I was being a brat...
I didn't care about that...
This was not the life that I had signed up for....
I'm pretty sure that I said that aloud too.

My daughter, Taylor called me...
More encouraging words...
Telling me how this struggle has taught her...
Has been an example to her...
How to stick it out, and wait on God.

Again...Yea...Yea ...I know
Not what I wanted to hear.

But, today....
Elbow deep in meat muck...
God admonished me...
For being a brat...

And He did it through an infomercial of cheesy Love songs....
You see....back when I was listening to that music....
I thought I was "all that"

God wasn't factored into the equation...
He was no part of my future plans...
I didn't really know Him....
I didn't really need Him...
Or seek His plan for my life.

I wanted to be somebody....
I wanted to be important....
I wanted alot of "things"..
I wanted people to want to be me.

I know...sad and shallow.

Now....I realize that I was absolutely right...
This was not what I  had expected my life to be like at 47....
Life is definitely not fair....
If life were fair....I'd be miserable and self-centered...
I may have acquired many "things"...
But, I would have missed out on true love.
I would've missed being a Mom and a Grandma..
I would've missed out on so many blessings

I never again want to think about the life I should've had..
I want to send my time.appreciating the life that I do have...

I want to spend my time thanking God...
Not only for this life and all of it's blessings....
But...for His sense of humor....
For using a silly infomercial to teach me a lesson.

And because I am stubborn....
He made sure to do it....
When my hands were a mess...
And I couldn't change the channel.

Arghh.....Love songs of the 70's 80's and 90's are stuck in my head...
I'll be singing them all day.

I'm sure it's God's way of helping me to remember...
What a sense of humor.

Power of Love,
shelly