STRIPED STRAWBERRIES


January 11.....
It was a Saturday night and Michael and I were just hanging out @home.

I had spent the day in my kitchen ( My fave place) and we had just sat down to relax...

Then..I received this text from Tara

Josh wants "The strawberries gram makes with the chocolate and the stripes"
She went on to say..Josh said "Gram will make them and bring them to our house"

Now...hold on a minute..I know that this doesn't seem very profound..
After all, its a 3yr old boy wanting some "Striped Strawberries"
I mean, who doesn't love some of these chocolate fruit yummies?

Here's the part that spoke to me....
Joshua, my precious grandson...
He KNEW I would make him those strawberries...
He never DOUBTED that I would bring them to his house.....

Joshua had faith that I would be there...
coming into his house with a tray of his requested goodies....

Here's why, there was never a question in his mind...

Joshua knows my heart for him..
He knows that I love him...
with all of my being....

He knows, in his innocent 3yr old heart...
in his innocent 3yr old way...
that I would give it all for him...

Joshua  doesn't know this because I've told him over and over...
It isn't memorized or forced...
He knows because he has spent time with me...
Because Joshua has experienced the love I have for him...
He has felt it and he knows it's real.

... “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven....Matthew 18:3

This verse is short and to the point....
We  must have Childlike faith...

Not unlike Joshua and his Striped Strawberries...

We must KNOW that God will hear our requests..
We must NEVER doubt that He will meet our needs...
that He will deliver to us..that which we need and desire.

And Like Joshua....
We know these things to be true..
not because we have been told this..
not because we have read it over and over..
not because it has been "driven" into us...

We know because we have spent time with our Lord..
Because we have experienced Him..
We have felt his love and...
we know that it is real.

Joshua never questioned if maybe Gram would make him his treats...
He never wondered if I would be knocking on his door...
He just knew..

Don't question whether God hears your requests...knows what you need..
Don't ever wonder if he will show up...knocking on your door...
He will...everytime.

So...needless to say.
It was January 11 around 5pm
and I sent Grandpa to the store.
I washed the berries..
dipped the chocolate ...added the "Stripes"
and knocked on my boy's door...

I walked in carrying the tray of "Striped Strawberries"..
After all, Joshua KNEW I was coming.

Exercise that childlike faith today...
and then wait for that knock at your door...
You KNOW it's coming!

Blessed Gram,
Shelly

January 14



OK...For those of you who have been following this blog from the beginning...
you may remember a post from a year ago...

It was titled "Perfection Pretense" and it told the story of me being a pregnant 17yr old girl..
It was a testament to the power of God's plan for our lives...

January 14 has been an turning point day in my life since 1985.

Well..its January 14 and I woke up and I wrote a post on FB..
Giving Thanks to the Lord for this day...
Thanking Tara for changing my life..
and rejoicing in God's plan.

It's all good...
The phone rings around 8am and its my sister from Chicago...
She never calls me this early...
After all, she's trying to get her 3 girls off to school..
and we all know how crazy that can be...

But she called and I answered...
I heard her say hello and she said...
"I read your posts on FB about today"
(She remembers, she was 13 at the time )

Then she says...
" I have a Timothy Botts flip calendar...it has a verse for the day on each page"
"I flipped it to today ...and well, I want to read it to you...if I can"
Through tears and a cracked voice...she reads me today's verse
January 14

My day...The day that I decided that, although I was only 17...
I was choosing life.....I was choosing my child...
I was choosing life....

This is the verse on her calendar for today....January 14...

9 “Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!.....Deuteronomy 30:19

I am choking back sobs as the tears run down my cheeks....

These words were written over 2000 yrs ago and they fit my life perfectly...
today...January 14,2014
January 14...my day...my day to choose life...

And you know what ....not only do those words apply to me...
but the promise of those words have rung true in my life...

MY descendants....my children...they Live
Not just now, on this earth, for this time...
But they will have eternal life...
Because my descendants...my children...
Choose Christ...choose to live for the Lord...

And I have blessings...
not curses....
my descendants will LIVE...

29 yrs ago..
I chose Life...

and God chose me.

His word NEVER returns void.

Thanks, Jami for taking a minute from the morning craziness to share God's word..
It has taught me a great lesson  this morning.

Humbled.
Shelly

I Can't Do This


Well...I'm back

It is 2014 and I am hitting the ground running...

Here's my breakdown of 2014

March - Isaiah travels to Bogota, Colombia on his first Foreign Missions

April- My new granddaughter is due to make her appearance

May - Taylor departs for an 8 week missions trip to Sierra Leone, West Africa

July - Taylor returns home

July - Isaiah heads to Europe for a 14 day adventure

Sept -Isaiah begins his HS Senior Year

Nov -  Trip to ORU for Isaiah and Usual Thanksgiving

Dec - Taylor Graduates from ORU and Holiday Craziness

Jan 2015 - Taylor marries Danny and moves to NJ

So many people have congratulated me...
They look at all these events and they say "You are So Blessed"

I look at them and this is what I see....

March - $$, need funds to send Zay....fear, is Colombia safe?

April -  Worry, will childbirth go easily for Tara?

May - Again... Worry, my daughter is leaving the country for a long time
           Sadness...She will be gone for her 21st bday

July - $$, need to fund Isaiah's trip

Sept - Heartache, can't believe the "baby" is a Senior

Nov - $$, need to get to ORU and Holidays

Dec - $$, need to get Tay and all of her stuff home and do Christmas

Jan - $$$$ Worry that I cant give my daughter her dream wedding

Needless to say, I have been beyond overwhelmed...
I have been dealing with feelings of guilt and inadequacy...
I have been "beating myself up" for not being that parent that can say...
"Here is everything you need"..."I have it all covered"

When I say " Beating myself up", I mean it
I have done a real number on myself...
To the point where I have determined that... Pretty Much.. "Im Worthless"

Ever been there?
If you are a MOM, I know you have, even if you've never admitted that to anyone..
Hey, maybe you've never really admitted it to yourself...

Did you ever say..." I am not enough"?
I did, I said it to the Lord this past Sunday morning.

I was up early..
Read my devotional...
Thought to myself .." Well that wasn't anything special"
Certainly not a word that I needed, given my current mindset...

I proceeded to get ready for church...
all the while, holding onto that feeling of " I just can't do this"

I walked into church and I remembered that I hadn't received my verse for 2014.
Every year our church prints scripture..they fold it up and put it in a basket..
I reached in and pulled mine out...

Before unfolding my paper, I said...
"Ok Lord...you know what this year looks like and you know what my heart feels like"
I opened my paper... and this is The Word that The Lord gave me for 2014

Romans 8:26-27

New International Version (NIV)

²⁶ In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. ²⁷ And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

Helps us in our weakness??

Intercedes for me??

This was exactly what I needed....

To be honest...it wasn't a new revelation

I knew these things to be true...

But I forgot...

I was so preoccupied with  what I can't do..

That I forgot what HE WILL DO..

I am still overwhelmed and I still have worry and fear and feelings of inadequacy...

But, I also have security and joy and hope...

Because I know... there will be times this year when I am weak..

When I don't know how to pray or what to pray for...

But it's ok, i'm not in it alone...

The Spirit is interceding... for me...

on my behalf.....

and it's all Good ....

because it's God's Will.

You know what...people are right...

I am blessed!!

Have a Blessed 2014,

Shelly