Have you ever experienced one of those weeks?
You know what I mean....
Everything "rubs you the wrong way"
Well, I am a 47yr old woman...
With hot flashes...
and perhaps.....
Possibly...a hormonal moment...
or two....
I have just experienced that kind of week.
The one thing that was totally getting on my nerves this past week....
Yep...you guessed it....
My husband.
OK, I don't know about you..
but when I'm in this perturbed kind of place...
I am not my most gracious....
As I had mentioned in a previous post...
Michael and I really felt led by God...
for him to resign from his teaching career.
He had been a teacher for 19yrs...
he no longer had the passion...
and he was miserable....
We all were miserable...
Well, that was in May...
and we are waiting....
Waiting on God to provide a new opportunity.
Well, that is what sparked my mood...
I was sick and tired of waiting...
and I wanted Michael to make something happen.
I didn't tell him that...
At least not verbally...
Instead....I just let him know that he was bugging me in a more subtle way.
Like...getting up and moving when he sat next to me on the couch...
Or....tensing up when he would try to hug me..
OK, sometimes I would resort to words and I'd exclaim...
In my "possessed" voice...
You're bugging me!!!
On saturday I had enough of the waiting...
enough of the "God will provide" mentality...
I was ready to strike...
And MIchael was my target.
I am not proud of my actions...
and I am not proud that I accused him of not wanting to do better by us.
My Pride and my fear were like blinders..
I only saw what I had assumed he wasn't doing.
Forward to sunday morning...
Yep, we were in church...
Yep, I was still "copping an attitude"...
Yep, The Lord adjusted my attitude.
My husband was on Worship Team..
Playing his heart out on "Genevieve"
( The name he chose for his guitar)..
And he was still "bugging me"
Yep...even in church
" Your Love Never Fails
It Never Gives Up
It Never Runs Out On Me"
Ok....Here's the lesson for me...
Do you know what my husband did....
He closed his eyes, raised his hands in surrender...
And he sang those words...
To God....in worship.
Now I was really annoyed....just kidding.
Actually I was really humbled...
and at that exact moment.....
I saw Michael for who he is...
A man after God's own heart....
A man who will worship when the situation is tough....
A man who will surrender and follow God's lead.
It reminded me of the blind man in the Book of John.....
11 He replied, “The man they call Jesus made some mud and put it on my eyes. He told me to go to Siloam and wash. So I went and washed, and then I could see.”..John9:11
That is exactly what The Lord did for me....
My eyes had been blinded by pride...and annoyance and uncertainty.
He took the muck and mire that I was throwing at Him..
and he put it on my eyes......
Muddy Eyes....
And in the same way that Jesus told this blind man....
That he had to go wash his eyes to receive the miracle...
I had to wash out my mind....let go of the expectation..
I had to activate my miracle.
And only then..
I could see...
not just see clearly...
But I could see Michael as Jesus saw him....
I could see God at work in our lives...
and I know that He is at work in our situation.
Be careful..... temporary blindness can have a permanent effect.
Grateful to be serving a miracle working God,
shelly
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