Taking it All for Granted


I Know.... it feels like a lifetime since I've sat down to write.

There have been a million things going on in my head and so many words that The Lord has laid upon my heart...
it just feels like time is going so quickly....
I never have enough minutes in my day......

That's where I am today....

BUSY.

I begin to think that my life is just getting more and more crazy...
I have less time to relax.. to enjoy each moment...

My husband works crazy hours.... I rarely see him.
My oldest daughter is busy raising her family,
My middle daughter works Mon-Fri and she is currently getting ready to head back to school in 2 weeks..
My son is at the Church all day practicing as part of the Praise and Worship Team...

And Me......
Im doing the usual, cleaning, laundry, getting food ready for a cookout...
running to the store... making sure the pool is ready, the list goes on and on...

There are times I am resentful...
I feel like I do it all...
It's all on me...
and I'm busy and tired and tired of being busy....

A few minutes ago, I was in my living room and I looked up at my chalkboard...
It takes up an entire wall in my room and I write quotes or verses on it...
I use it to encourage those in my home... both those who live here and those who visit...

Today... The words I put up there....They hit me square in the face

     That which YOU take for GRANTED.... Someone else is PRAYING for.

This busy-ness that I complain about.... someone else is praying for..
I know that sounds crazy, but think about it.
I am busy because I am caring for my family.

And although there are days (sometimes weeks at a time) when they drive me nuts...
I wouldn't change it.

There are people out there who have NO ONE...
They are praying for a family to care for.

It got me thinking about all that I take for granted...
There's the obvious... shelter....water....food
the luxuries....a pool..a fire pit..a vehicle.

But what about the "not so obvious"

What about my husband?....Yep, I take him for granted
He is an amazing provider.. He loves me without question and he is a Man of God who serves as an amazing example to our kids.
That man that I take for granted, that man who could drive me insane on any given day...
Someone else is praying for.....
I know of women, personally who are praying for A Man of God to come beside them and love them.

What about my kids?....Yep, I take them for granted too
My children are compassionate and loving and they all have a heart that Seeks after the Lord...
They Love me and respect me and they treat me with Honor..
There are days when I wonder how they would do it without me...
and in all honestly... there have been times when I was tempted to "go on strike" and watch them flounder.....

Those kids that I take for granted....
Someone else is praying for...
Again... I know people who have children who are far from the Lord...
children making destructive choices...
They pray that their children will come to know Christ.

I could go on for pages..... So much that I take for granted...
Family, friends. my church, etc....
I am so glad that God brought those words to my mind today...
A reminder that there are people out there praying...
praying with urgency for those things that I take for granted...

My prayer today for myself and for you... is this...

Lord , open my eyes to the many blessings which you have given me, help me to never take for granted even the smallest of these, for each is a gift from you. Thank You Lord for each of them.... and when I am overwhelmed or under-appreciated or just ambivalent... help me to remember that someone is praying for that which I take for granted.

Well, Blog complete.....
Now I'm off to finish the never-ending "To-Do" list....

And I have never been more grateful to be able to do so.....

With Joy,
Shelly

NOBODY SPECIAL


Flash back to Father's Day 2010.........
My Dad went golfing, had a big family cookout and enjoyed being around his kids...
A Perfect day

The Day after Father's Day 2010.....
My dad woke up, got ready for work, called to my mom that he wasn't feeling well....
By 10:30 am He was gone.

POOF!!!
A VAPOR!!
GONE.

This post is NOT about the frailty of Life.....
It is about... How we live that life.

My Dad was an amazing man....
and He never knew it.

He worked for years in the Home Improvement Business....
He could fix ANYTHING.

I cannot even begin to count the number of times that I would call him .....
asking why something wasn't working, how to fix this or that and ALWAYS....ALWAYS He came.

My husband used to tease me because every single time my Dad was at our home........
I would say.... " I have an idea"
It could be anything from..."I'd like to put a room on"
To.... "I'd like built- in loft beds in the girls' room".
( of course he made them and they were spectacular)

He was talented and smart and kind and patient.....
and he always referred to himself as
NOBODY SPECIAL.

He went to work EVERY DAY in ALL types of WEATHER..
Not taking a single sick day in 31yrs.

He met all kinds of people,
worked with all kinds of people,
touched the lives of all kinds of people....

And still thought that he was NOBODY SPECIAL.

As we stood at his memorial service.....
We heard the stories.....
There were people that we had never met...
People with stories of his kindness....
People in awe of his exceptional talent for building...
Customers that he did work for......
He may have been at their home for a day or two...
maybe a week.....
They came because He made an impact on their lives....
In the short time he had spent with them.....
he made a difference......

So much so, that they came to pay respect to this man....
My Dad, the self-proclaimed NOBODY SPECIAL.

Not long after his death.....
My mom was in need of a new roof on her home....
My sister contacted my Dad's employer to inquire about the specifics....
How Much?
When?

The logistics were worked out....


The day came for the new roof.....

On that day.......18 men came to my mom's house......
18 men....including my dad's boss
It was a Friday...misty rain.....
and they came.

In that day.... they tore off my mom's roof. replaced the damaged lumber on her porch roof and laid a new roof.

WOW, you say that's alot to get done for a day's work....
It sure is.....
But here is the best part......
My dad's boss..told these guys that they would be doing "DICKIE"S" roof and that he was paying them to do it......
These 18 guys....
They volunteered to do it for NO PAY......
As an honor to a Man that had touched them so deeply.

Some of these guys that gave.... they were from other home building companies...
they were willing to give up a day's pay, as well.....

ALL of this for NOBODY SPECIAL

I sobbed that day  because I realized that my Dad was such a hard-working, humble man.....
He never thought highly of himself...never prideful or boastful....
He just went through life doing what he thought was right...
Never seeking credit...or self-promotion.

There lies a huge lesson in there for each of us.....

How many times do we do something for someone and we want recognition or credit or appreciation?
And we want it immediately.......We want everyone to know of our good deeds...
Everyone should know how wonderful we really are.

I am reminded of the song "THANK YOU" by Ray Boltz....
It speaks of a man arriving in heaven and all of these people are there to greet him....
to Thank Him for giving of himself....
People that he had touched in even a small way.....


TODAY, I honor that NOBODY SPECIAL, that I called my Dad....
and I will try to live my life like he did.....
Never striving for Fame or Fortune....
Credit and appreciation.....

Instead I strive to be NOBODY SPECIAL....
What a legacy.....

I LOVE YOU DAD!!!!

Humbly,
Shelly

THE RACE

This past Sunday, I had the distinct privilege of watching my daughter, Tara run her very first Half-Marathon.

She had set this goal for herself and to be completely honest, when she said that she was going to do this, I thought...... Why?

Why would you want to train like that?
Run every single day...mile by mile....training your body to go farther than you ever thought that it could.......Pushing yourself to push your limits.....trusting that you could go the distance.

Yep....I just figured she was nuts!!

SO....Tara pushed through... she began training in February and each day, she pursued her goal.

There were days that were tough and days that were easier, days when she had to push herself to even run at all ....and days when she could hardly wait to "hit the pavement".

Race day came......

Like a good Mom.... I went to cheer her on.

Her husband, Jerod and son Joshua were there when the gun went off....
They had cheered her on at mile 3......mile 6

I was at mile 9 with her Dad, her brother, her sister and Grandma.....
We had signs......
we cheered, yelled, encouraged.

Pushing her to her goal...
Believing she could do it.....WOULD do it.

When I saw her running at mile 9.....
I got that huge lump in my throat....
My nose turned red
(my kids know what that means)
and the tears came.

Tears of pride....
SO proud of her discipline...her dedication....
She kept going...She kept her "eye on the prize"

Her goal was to finish those 13.1 miles in under 2:30

She did it!!!!!
2:13:27
That was her official time!!

Tara crossed that finish line....
( I cried)

and when she made it....when she realized her goal....
she exchanged all of those months of sweat. pain, determination and discipline...
she traded all that in....
and they placed that medal around her neck.

She had run a good race and she had received her reward!

I have competed well; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith!.. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing......2Timothy 4:7-8 I was reminded of this scripture as I watched Tara run her race. All that I could think is ........ If I am this proud of MY child for accomplishing her goal..... For pushing through..... For the pain and sweat and discipline and determination.... How proud The Lord must be of His Child..... the one who chooses to run the race well... who faces the adversity, the pain... but pushes through anyway. Then I think of us, cheering Tara on.... Encouraging, believing that she can do it... and I think...... My Heavenly Father is cheering for me... encouraging me.... having faith that I will finish well. And finally...... When I cross that final "Finish Line".... To know that The Lord will greet me there..... And like Tara, exchanged it all for a medal.... I will exchange all the craziness and pain..... and adversity, and disappointment.... For a CROWN..... A Crown of righteousness. Run the Race... Keep the Faith.... The reward is great!! Keep moving toward the Prize, Shelly

GOD's GRACE

This Post has been a long time coming..........
there are 2 reasons...

1)  I was waiting for the photos
     and more importantly....
2) I was waiting for the courage.....

Tears are falling down my cheeks and onto my keyboard......
and once again, I am in awe of The Power and Grace of My God......

I have this new found addiction...
I am addicted to "A Baby Story"

Everyday from 1-2pm, you will find me in my kitchen...
Prepping for Dinner with tears rolling down my cheeks.

I watch these stories of babies being born and I am just in awe of this miracle of Life,
and I think of how many healthy, beautiful babies are born each day,
and I think of how easily we take that for granted.

And then I think of Bailey.
and the tears don't roll down my cheeks they Flow out of me like a river,
Still....
11 years later.

It was in April of 2002,
My sister, Jami and her husband, Scott live in Illinois with their 2 yr old daughter Rylee
My sister Jami was pregnant for her 2nd child.

We were so excited because she was coming to NY for a visit.
Prior to her trip, Jami and Scott were told that there was a problem with the Baby.
Tests were done, the waiting began and Jami made the trip to NY.

I will never forget that Sunday in church,
Jami went up to the altar and we prayed,
I mean we cried out,
The congregation began laying hands on Jami and that precious baby that she was carrying,

We didn't know what we were dealing with,
but we prayed together and we believed together.

Well, soon after, the answers came...
I'd love to tell you that the baby was healed instantly and they found no cause for alarm...
That's not how the story goes.....

Instead, news came that this baby suffered from a Diaphragmatic Hernia,
Basically, she had no diaphragm,
 the part of our body that separates our organs in our chest from those in our abdomen.

Prognosis....
Not Good.

Jami carried that baby girl to full term...
not knowing what would happen when she made her appearance...

I can't imagine the strength that it took...
how she did that, for months,
the uncertainty...
There's only one way that she was able..
GOD's GRACE.

On August 21...Miss Bailey Rae Brower made her debut..

By GOD's GRACE,
Bailey was born at the hospital which just happened to have the The World's Leading Surgeon for CDH babies.

Bailey was whisked away and evaluated..
She had little to no diaphragm,
her abdominal organs were in her chest cavity,
her heart was displaced and she had one lung.

Prognosis for survival 10%

Bailey was placed in the NICU,
she was on a heart lung machine
and she was SICK...

For 5 months,she lay in that NICU,
For 5 months, my sister lived at The Ronald McDonald House..
For 5 months, she sat in that NICU,
praying. believing, willing her child to live..
telling her, begging with her to fight.

Jami and Scott would return to The RMH exhausted,
sleep was elusive.

How do you sleep when your child is fighting to live?

Then the phone call came...
They believed that Bailey had developed a yeast infection that was growing into the Gortex Diaphragm they had used to repair her hernia.

They were told, " Go take some time and make plans for her final arrangements"

WHAT????
How do you hear those words, and keep breathing?

Then the words came.....
Jami heard these words....
"BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD"

That right there, those 8 words are a perfect example of GOD's GRACE.

There were many more ups and downs....
Many unknowns, many uncertainties....

But one thing never changed...
One thing was certain...
GOD's GRACE was present at every moment and through every situation.

This story isn't over......
Not even close....

On August 21, 2013....
Miss Bailey Rae Brower will be celebrating her 11th Birthday.

She is as perfect as they come, she is active and brilliant and beautiful and has the brightest personality
I've ever seen!
She "lights up" a room.

I remember going to see Bailey shortly after she was born..
When I walked into the NICU, I felt like someone had sucked every bit of life out of me.
I wanted to leave, I wanted to run out of that room.

 All that I could think was "How do Jami and Scott do this all day, every day"
How do they walk in there and sing to her and talk to her,
Where do they find the breath?
The strength?
What do you cling to?
How do you sleep?
How do you get up in the morning?

I couldn't fathom any of it.

Once in a conversation with my sister, long after Bailey was well, I asked her..
How did you do it?
How did you hold it together?
Her response was" I don't know, I don't even remember alot of it"

That, that unknowing, that inability to remember, it's GOD's GRACE,
when life is more than we can comprehend,
When the burden is so heavy that it is inconceivable to carry,

GOD's GRACE takes over..
HE brings us through...

Our job is only to be still and know.......

My heart is full and my tears are many,
Shelly

For you Jami and Scott, you are true heroes

Miss Bailey Rae, God's plan for you is unbelievable!
<3

SUNDAY'S COMING!!!!!


OK, OK, I know, it's been quite awhile since I've written a post.....
Truth be told, I have been in a weird kind of place...
If you have read my previous blogs, you know what I mean.

Beside that... My girl was home from college for 10 glorious days.....
This would be the last chance I would see her before she heads off to Zambia,
So I wasn't willing to waste a single moment.....

SO, she's back to school :(

and I am back to blogging

And appropriately....Today is Good Friday

I used to struggle with the "Good" in Good Friday
What was so Good about it?

I have grown to love "Good" Friday....
I hate that Jesus was beaten beyond recognition...
it breaks my heart that He was nailed to a tree...
I can hardly fathom the idea that He did it for me...

I absolutely hate the thought of him carrying that cross..
I am one of those people who watch "The Passion of The Christ" movie through barely separated fingers.....
Because my hands are over my face.....
watching is almost more than I can bear....

And just when I think that I can't bear another minute....
Just when i feel that my heart is shattering into a million pieces...
It hits me...

SUNDAY'S COMING!!!!!

WOW!! Goosebumps cover me as I type those two words.....

SUNDAY'S COMING!!!!!!

That is why I have learned to love Good Friday...
without Good Friday....
There would be no Miraculous Sunday!!!!

You can't have a victory if you don't first have a trial!!

Life is the same way...
Sometimes when we are in the midst of a trial...
a difficulty...
a hopeless situation....
We don't see the "GOOD" in it....

We feel defeated...
we believe it's over...
"It is Finished".

But, you know what?

SUNDAY'S COMING!!!

Jesus' victory assures your victory!!!

If today is not what you expected it to be...
If you struggle to find the "GOOD" in it...

Praise God...

Your SUNDAY'S COMING!!!!


Have a Blessed Easter!!
Shelly

TRUTH


This could possibly be the most difficult post I've written. It's real and it's transparent and I feel totally vulnerable, and not really sure that I should post it.
But, the Lord has laid it on my heart with such conviction that I have to post, not just as a catharsis for me, but to help someone else.

I have had a rough few days....
Nothing significant has happened, there have been no crises....
My children are great, husband is good...
Life is Great......

I am not.

I am sad, the gut wrenching, lump in your throat, up in the middle of the night sad.

I have no reason why.

It started on Saturday..
I woke up early, took a shower, did my hair...
and brokedown.

I looked in the mirror and despite the fact that I have recently dropped 19lbs,
regardless of the fact that I had a new "Sassy haircut"
I hated what I saw...

To the point of tears....
The day continued like that.....
I was home with Michael and Isaiah and I had no desire to do anything..
I really just wanted to be alone...
I felt gross, unworthy....
I had absolutely no joy, NONE!!!

I think I went to bed around 8pm....
I just didn't feel like facing life.
I had half-hearted conversations..
pretending that I was interested in life..
Truth is..... I wasn't.

I really, truly just felt nothing but self-loathing..
I thought I looked "old",
that progressed to my feeling that I've accomplished nothing,
which then progressed to a feeling of failure,
It snowballed into self-loathing.

Sunday came. and I felt that feeling all over again,
Before I even left my bed, I prayed..
Asking, begging God to remove this depression that was overtaking me.
I felt it, I knew what it was,
I was depressed, it wasn't over a situation or a worry,
it just felt like life was "too much".

I felt like I was treading water,
I was tired.

I didn't want to go to church, I didn't want to go anywhere.
But, I went.
I went because I know that regardless of how I feel, God shows up.

Worship was amazing, we sang about "Chains Falling Down"
We sang "My Soul Will Sing, My Soul Will Sing"
We sang the words "and if our God is with us, then what can stand against"

I felt like God was orchestrating this service for me, just for me

Pastor got up to speak and do you know what word the Lord had laid on his heart for that day
BREAKDOWN

Now I was sure that the Lord was meeting me right where I stood,
in the muck and mire of life...in my personal pit.

I felt as if God himself was standing on that stage and He was preaching to an audience of One.
Every word pierced my heart, it was as if he was reading my mind...
The sermon spoke honestly and very directly about Depression.

I would love to say that I walked out of service with a new heart, a spring in my step and an everlasting Joy....
But I can't say that....
I left feeling better...but not BETTER.

I went about my Sunday, still a little "off".
and I went back to church to meet with God on Sunday Night.

Obviously the Lord knew that I was still struggling....
the music was "spot on", once again
We were singing "It is well, with my soul"
and I so wanted it to be..

Then Tara brought the word...
She had no idea how I was feeling...
She spoke on the Beatitudes...
Specifically being "poor in spirit"..
How those are the ones that The Lord will bless,
those are the ones that the Lord will use.

That was me.
Poor in Spirit.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me....2Cor 12:9

This was a verse from her text and I wrote it down, and I am standing on it!!

I am weak... weak in spirit....

It's uncomfortable..

it's out of character for me.

and I do not like it!!

However, if I must be weak, to receive His grace...

then I will endure...

If I must be down and depressed and feel unworthy...

in order for Him to wield His power in my life...

then I will press on...

I want to boast about my weakness..

because I need His power to rest on me.

I am still struggling...

it's not easy, especially when I don't know why I feel like this.

But, I am standing on His word,

believing that "His mercies are new every morning".

I know this is not an encouraging note,

but I know that the Lord put it on my heart to post.

Someone needs to hear this, and to know ,

Weakness is also a part of God's plan.

Humbly,

Shelly

Really? STOP & YES!!



Well I haven't posted in a couple of weeks...
I just didn't hear from the Lord...

I waited, I tried to force the issue...
I started a blog, erased, started again
Walked away.....

Waiting...
Definitely not my strong point.

Well, I heard from God last night...
Loud and Clear.....
A single word.....

STOP!!!!!

That was all.....

STOP!!!!!

Well, I'll tell you, it's not easy to write a blog based on a single word...
especially a word that basically tells you to do nothing.

Not really knowing what this meant, I went to the Lord in prayer...

I questioned him ( go ahead, question God, He already knows what you're thinking)
I was a little indifferent ( He knows that too)

So, instead of waiting for an answer to my question,
I kept asking other questions  (  I was on a roll)...

OK Stop what, exactly?
Should I stop being a Mom?
Should I stop being a wife?
....a daughter?
....a baker?
....a grandma?

How about if I stop my routine...
things like cleaning..
....cooking... laundry?

Should I stop caring for others?
....giving to missions?
.....Encouraging my children?

Here's one I was a little more than willing to do..
Should I stop paying bills?
Then I became real bold and said "Are you going to pay them ?"

Yea I worked myself right into a tizzy...
I was becoming angry...

So, I had asked all the questions...
I wanted an answer, more than just a one word response...

guess what I heard...

YES!!!!! ( btw if you haven't noticed, again, He gave me one word, I wanted more, he gave me what I needed, not what I wanted)

What? I thought I was going to scream... all of these things that He told me to Stop,
they defined who I am, how people know me..
You know what I mean, my reputation.

then this story "popped" into my mind

s Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

⁴¹ “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things,⁴² but few things are needed—or indeed only one.^[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

WOW!!!!

I guess that one word from The Lord was enough.

In this story, 2 sisters open their home to Jesus.

Mary didn't care a bit about what needed to be done, she didn't care to be the best hostess, she didn't pay one bit of attention to the fact that her reputation as a servant was being jeopardized.....

She cared about one thing and only one thing....spending time with Jesus.

Nothing else mattered... I think that she was so awestruck in His presence that she didn't even consider that there was anyone else there...let alone things to be done.

Martha was ticked...she was the one doing all the work and she was not about to let it go unnoticed by their guest.......She was a tattle tale and she told Jesus what to do with Mary.

( I always chuckle at this part of scripture... Martha thought "I'll tell him how to handle this". Apparently she forgot to whom she was speaking.....ummm remember, this is JESUS )

I am sure the response of the Lord astonished Martha, definitely not the answer she was looking for.

He told her that all the preparations she worried over ,were not necessary.

She only needed one thing... to be in His presence.

Well, needless to say, I now know what STOP means

and I know why he answered all of my indifferent questions with one word YES!!!!

He was teaching me, admonishing me, like Martha.

STOP being so busy, STOP trying to do it all, STOP trying to please everyone, STOP trying to build a righteous reputation.

Spend time in communion with me....watch your worries and concerns fade

Experience my presence... lean on me

All else will fall into place.

As you can see... I asked for a word and I got just that 

A WORD.

I needed it and I believe there are others who need it, as well.

Seek God FIRST......

Let HIM handle the details.

STOP and YES!!!

Two powerful words from the Lord!

Stop today,

Shelly