Sticks & Stones


"Sticks & Stones may break my bones....but Names will never hurt me"

How many times have you been told that?
How many times have you told your kids that?

Now, think for a minute.......Is there any truth in that phrase?

The answer.....NO!

Names do hurt...words have more power than we realize.

I don't know about you, but I have been on the receiving end of those "names"
Whether to my face, or behind my back.......
and I will tell you something.
It hurts.

Sad to say, I have also been on the other side.....
I have been the one spewing names and insults against others....
and I will tell you something.
Those words hurt.

Words have power, alot of power.....
So many times, they just run out of our mouth without our thinking.

It's amazing how mere words can tear someone down,
make them feel worthless,
cause lifelong insecurities,
truly injure a soul.

Likewise, words can encourage,
they can lift the spirit,
they can heal the soul.

I want to use my words in that way.....

The Lord tells us how to speak:

²⁹ When you talk, don’t say anything bad. But say the good things that people need—whatever will help them grow stronger. Then what you say will be a blessing to those who hear you...Eph 4:29

We are to use our words to encourage....

to help....

to strengthen...

to be a blessing.

Just this past weekend, I was on the receiving end of these types of words.

I was catering the pastries for a party

My first BIG party

1500 pastries!

As I was saying Thank You to the Hostess,

 She said to me  " I read your blog"

Well, immediately I went into panic mode.....This woman was my 7th grade English Teacher,

All I could think was " she probably thinks that I had never learned a thing in her class"

I am positive that my writing is not grammatically correct.

But that feeling of panic only lasted a minute.....

Because next she said

 " I am proud of you.....Proud of who you are.....Proud of who you've become and ....Proud of who you will become"

At that exact moment, my heart was filled with gratitude... and healing.

I have always carried around the stigma of being a teenage Mom

I always figured that that is what would define me...

Shelly Ritlinger...pregnant in High School.

But when I heard those words, from a 7th grade teacher....

I realized something....

Words hold power...

I was encouraged.

lifted up.

healed.

It makes me think of how I use my words, how I wield that power...

I want to follow the Lord's teachings and use my words in a positive manner.

How will you use your words today?

I promise you one thing,

your words will either encourage or discourage

choose wisely.

I know I will.

Thank you Mrs. Ebert......

All these years later and you are still teaching me about words.

Be an Encourager Today,

Shelly

PERFECTION PRETENSE

Interesting title, right?

Let's start with a question.......

Do you let the world see you?
The real you?
All the insecurities and fears that you harbor....
Do you show that side of you?

OR.......
Are you showing the world what you think they want to see.......
What they expect to see........

You know what I am talking about...
 We all have that one person that we look at and honestly, secretly, we wish we could be them.
If only we had their life.....

They always have a smile on their face, a spring in their step....
Their hair always looks "done"....
Their kids are immaculate and well-behaved...
Their house is clean and beautifully decorated........

Etc. etc, etc,....
The list goes on and on.....

Let me tell you from experience..
 things are not always as they seem......

28 yrs ago today..
I was a 17yr old HS senior.

I was smart, well-dressed, dating the football star, doing some modeling.
To the world I appeared to" Have it all together".

28yrs ago today..
I walked out of a Dr's office with the realization that I was pregnant..
24 weeks pregnant!

That'a right, 24WEEKS!!

Not a soul knew
No One
Only Me

Until this day 28 yrs ago

For 24 weeks I had a secret,
I pretended to be someone that I was not
I showed the world the side of me that they wanted to see
I wanted to live up to their expectations

After all, I had a rep to protect

What I realize now......

I was Bearing False Witness

"You should not bear false witness against your neighbor"......Exodus 20:16

This is one of the Big Ten
The Ninth Commandment

Now, I realize it says "against your neighbor"
I know it means do not lie about your neighbor

Doesn't it also mean do not present a lie to your neighbor
How about this.....

Do not bear false witness...at all

When we present ourselves as something we are not..
We are bearing False Witness...

When we only let the world see the "perfect side"
we are not able to show them God's Grace

I was so afraid to show the world that I was "human"
so afraid, that for 24 weeks, I hid a pregnancy

When I walked out of that Dr's office...
I felt like a 500lb burden was lifted from me....

I had only  one regret.... I wished that I had told someone sooner.

I spent so much time and energy trying to keep up appearances, that I had missed out on the Grace that God had waiting for me.

I no longer Bear False Witness.
I do not pretend.
What you see is what you get...

I have scars and shortcomings
but they are my testimony

Today. 28 yrs later....
my story has allowed me to show others how God works..
How He loves His children
How He has a plan...

If I continue to show the world only what I think they expect...
Only what I think will impress them....

Not only am I bearing false witness...

I am denying them the chance to see God at work in my life

I want to be THAT kind of witness
The kind that when people see me.
they not only see the "real me"
they see that God is at work in my life.
Perfecting all the things that are not perfect.
Loving me regardless.
Using my faults and failures to glorify Him.
To allow others to see His abilities.
With Him there is no Pretense.
He is perfect.

Let go of that Perfection Pretense and let the world see you. flaws and all,
Then the world can see the Grace of God.


BE YOU,
Shelly

ps   I love you Tara Jean

OVERCOMER!!


Happy New Year!

I don't know about you, but I love new beginnings!
My son-in-law, Jerod preached that "every beginning has an end and every end a new beginning"

I love that!

I was really happy to ring in 2013, a new beginning.
I was sitting in church on Sunday with such a full heart.
My husband was playing his guitar for worship,
My son-in-law was leading,
My someday Son-in-law was on drums,
Tara does prayer and welcome.
Standing next to me.......
Taylor was praising the Lord...
Isaiah was praising the Lord.

I thought " I am blessed way beyond what I deserve"

That was going to be my next post, this post....

Then came Monday

Here's a quick recap:
My uncle was taken by ambulance to the hospital
My grandson Joshua was sick ( fever, cough,etc.)
Isaiah was sent home from school ( stomach flu)
Taylor had to leave and go back to Tulsa (1300 miles away)
My aunt hit a dead deer in the  middle of the road , on her way to work....

For some reason, that overwhelming feeling of gratitude that I had experienced on Sunday was gone....
Long gone....

I found myself starting to panic.
I could physically feel that anxiety, I felt nervous, jittery and totally unable to deal.
I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry. I really wanted to disappear, run away.

Do you know what I am talking about, have you been there?

In just 24hrs, my perspective totally changed.....
I went from thinking "How can life get better than this"
to
"How can I get away from this day?"

Well, running away is not an option...
and denial is a nice place to live, but it doesn't solve the problem.

I was overwhelmed, depressed, worried and anxious. I kept thinking "I can't do this"

You know something... I was right, I can't do this

But My God can.......

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”...John16:33

So, you see. I am blessed. Yes it was a crazy day and to be honest, the week hasn't gotten much better.
But I am blessed because all of these issues that are overwhelming to me, that feel like they are going to consume me.... they have already been overcome. They are things of this world and...as the scripture says.... He has overcome the world.

 They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord...Jeremiah 1:19

As a Christian, I am not promised a life of ease... a life without challenges.....
What I am promised is that the Lord will fight for me and the Lord will rescue me....
I WILL NOT be overcome....

I am designed to be an OVERCOMER!!!!

If 2013 has already presented you with a boatload of adversity....let it go and remember to take heart...
He has overcome the world... including those situations!!

I have declared that this year, 2013, I am going to focus on the blessings of God. I am going to let go of the anxiety, the fear, the worry and I am going to be an Overcomer!!!

Why don't you join me... Let's make 2013 the best year yet!!


Happy 2013!
Shelly

That Thin Line

Today is my Anniversary.

Each year on this day, I reflect back on my relationship with my husband Michael.

Each year on this day, I am always reminded of how much our God truly loves us!!

Mine and Michael's relationship was not originally built on the foundation of Faith.

We met on a blind date and we were inseparable ever since. It was moving along great and it was moving along quickly.

I knew that I loved him right from the start. He was kind and considerate. He loved me completely and even better, he loved my daughter Tara with his entire being. We thought that we had it all. This was great!!!

 What we didn't have, was a relationship built on faith.

So what you say, What's the big deal?

I'll tell you........

Our relationship hit some major obstacles. I became pregnant and I also lost my job. Our perfect life was beginning to unravel........

We planned a wedding....we cancelled the wedding and eventually.... we called it "quits".

I was heartbroken and I was angry.

When Michael would come to see our daughter, Taylor, I wouldn't speak to him.

When he took her every other weekend I was sad and I hated him even more.

I really thought that I had despised him with my entire being.

Well, you know what they say... There is a thin line between Love and Hate.


........Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails....Prov 19:21

Hmmmm.... this is a good one. See, MY plan was to hate Michael for all eternity. To carry around that hurt and animosity for as long as I could.

However, the Lord had a purpose.

In the Spring of 1995, Michael asked if he could go to church with us for Easter.

( Now, I give him a great deal of credit here. Anyone who knows me knows that if I don't like you, you know it. I'm not good at pretending)

SO, what could I say?
NO!
That was my initial response.
NO!

Then, it was my Mom who said,,,"You can't tell him that He can't go to church"

SO, begrudgingly, I said "Sure" with a smile pasted to my face. You know that smile, the type with the clenched teeth behind it.

Easter came and we all went to church, the "Happy LIttle Family"

I remember that day vividly, as I sat there, the Lord really began a work in me. I looked over at Michael and I saw him for who he was, I saw a good man who loved his daughter and who I knew loved me....

STILL

For almost 2 years, I held a grudge, I didn't speak to him and I told myself I didn't like him.

And guess what... I was correct... I DIDN"T like him

I LOVED HIM!

Not long after that Easter Service, Michael and I began rebuilding our relationship. This time, we did it the right way. We went to church together and  we put God in the center of our life together.

Believe me, It was not all "flowers and butterflies". Sometimes, that grudge I held would rear it's ugly head and I would use the past as a weapon.

Then came a moment I will never forget.... Michael had attended a Promise Keepers Rally with the men from our church. It had changed his life. Changed who he was as a man. and it changed the way that I saw him.

After returning from that convention..Michael stood up in front of the entire church congregation and spilled out his heart... he apologized to me, he stood up there and spoke of his love for God... for me and for our daughters.... in that order.

To make a long story.... well somewhat shorter....

Michael and I were engaged that July and married in December

Exactly 17 yrs ago today

Many people thought that, given our past. we wouldn't make it...but we are going strong and proving them wrong!!

...........Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails....Prov 19:21

My PLAN was to hate Michael forever. The Lord's PURPOSE was to work on our hearts individually, to draw us each unto Him... so that we could then have a relationship with each other that had God in the center... that is the secret to a lasting relationship.

Today, I thank God for the man that He has created for me. Michael is everything that I am not.
I love him more than ever

You may find yourself hating a situation or a person, or dwelling on a circumstance that seems to make no sense. As you can see, I've been there. But in that difficulty, the Lord has a purpose.... sometimes the purpose is to draw you unto Him.. so that HE can begin something new in you.

I will leave you with this, it's one of my favorites:

        And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose....Romans8:28


Seek Him.
Shelly

ps... I love you Michael

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

   I would just like to take this opportunity to wish each of you a truly Merry Christmas.

   I, myself have found it difficult to muster up some "Merry" these past few weeks.
 
  Beside the craziness of baking, shopping, wrapping and preparing. I have been so preoccupied with the recent events in our world. I hear the news , I watch the interviews, I see the photos and I am so disheartened. I feel like I am losing Faith.

What has happened to us, as a people, as a human race. Are we not called to "Love one another"?

I have found myself in a state of disbelief and shock and honestly horror, as I am made aware of the evil that is now a part of our everyday lives.

It has been a tough week for me. Maybe it is because my husband is an Elementary School Teacher, and in my heart I know, without question , that he would stand in the line of fire before his students, he would give his life to protect theirs.

Maybe it is because I am a Mom and I grieve for each and every parent that has lost their child in such a needless way.

Whatever it is, it has stolen my faith it has taken away my hope.............

Until today.

.........A Thrill of Hope
         The Weary World Rejoices
         For Yonder Breaks A New and Glorious Morn.....

This has always been my favorite Christmas Carol, but today these words struck me in a whole new way.

A Weary World? yep that's us to a "T". We are Weary.
However, we still have the Thrill of Hope
The same thrill that they had on that Holy Night, over 2000 years ago.
Hope for a New and Glorious Morn

I don't know about you, but I am ready for something New and Glorious.
 
.......Chains Shall He Break
       For The Slave Is Our Brother
       And In HIS Name
       All Oppression Shall Cease.......

WOW, Have you ever really reflected on this verse? I really hadn't until today and I tell you what, there is POWER in those words.... ALL Oppression shall cease

The words to this song, have really touched me, restored me and have given me a hope this Christmas Season.

I have turned off the news and tuned out the negativity in this world.....

........Fall On Your Knees
        O Hear The Angel Voices
        O Night Divine
        O Night When Christ Was Born

Spend some time this Beautiful Holiday Season, on your knees. Listening for the voices of Angels.

It will lift your spirit and restore your peace.

A Very Blessed Christmas to you and Yours!!!

Shelly

 Bratty Attitude!!


   Usually, I blog on Thursday or Friday. By the end of the week I have received an idea from God. I figure He gives me a word for those who read my blog.

 This past week, Thursday came and no idea, same with Friday. Ok I figured , maybe I just skip a week. No big Deal. I mean, I am just treating this blog like a vessel, letting God work through me to reach others. Very righteous! Don't you think?

I thought so.

I was wrong.

 I will tell you that I have not been in the holiday spirit. Actually, I've been a BRAT!
This past weekend I found myself in a really crappy place. I am sick of crunching numbers, I am sick of trying to be sure everyone has everything for Christmas. I am overwhelmed at the prospect of baking and wrapping and crafting, cleaning and laundry and bill paying. It was to the point where I had an I don't care attitude.

It gets better, just when I think that we may be able to make all ends meet. My vehicle needs brakes. Oh yea, and tires. Seriously? Now? 3weeks before Christmas.

I was ticked.

C'mon , I decided to cop an attitude, a BIG one!
I thought to myself this is ridiculous. My husband works so hard so that we can have the things we need. I have been trying to get gifts and plan for the Holidays. Let's just throw a wrench in there.

Well, I kept up the attitude all weekend.

Today was Sunday and I even thought. "I don't feel like going to church". " I don't feel like worshipping"

Well, I went anyway, to be completely honest, I went because I thought it was communion Sunday and Michael and I always serve. I didn't want to let anyone down.

So, I took my bratty attitude and I went to church, begrudgingly.
Well, no surprise, My heavenly Father showed up and you know what He did?

He gave me a "timeout"

You parent's out there know exactly what I mean. When your child isn't listening or they have a disrespectful attitude, they need a "timeout"

When you are young.you may sit for a few minutes. My grandson gets a "timeout" and he sits for a few minutes. Then he will say"sorry mama". My daughter, will patiently explain to him why he was disciplined and life goes on. An example of excellent parenting ( if I do say so myself).

This discipline was administered from a place of love and compassion.

When you are a little older, a timeout may be relinquishing your cellphone or driving privileges.

Well, let me tell you what a timeout from the Lord looks like when it is administered to a bratty 45yr old.

As, I stood in church listening to the worship music, still having a rather large chip on my shoulder,
a young man came and sat a few seats from me. He is a teenager and I am acquainted with him. He is the ONLY member of his family serving God. He makes his way to church every Sunday and every Wednesday,in spite of some unfortunate circumstances.

Next, in comes my aunt. like she does every Sunday. Only today, she has pictures of her recent missions trip to Guatemala. Pictures of the dump, the shacks that people call home and the children who don't attend school because they are busy caring for their siblings.

Then, I look at the man in front of me. He is my father-in-law and I am reminded that he has buried 3 of his 4 children.

The list goes on and on all through service:  A mother whose children don't serve God

                                                                      A 3 yr old battling cancer

                                    A precious 2yr old who spent the majority of his life in Foster Care

Let me tell you, that chip on my shoulder, became tears on my face as I realized that God wasn't just disciplining one of His children. He was patiently explaining to me, where I went wrong.

Another example of excellent parenting. Administered from a place of love and compassion.

SO, I will finish by saying. The word that the Lord gave me this week, was delayed for a reason.

The word that I was waiting to receive, in order to help all of you strengthen your walk with The Lord.

It was actually a spiritual "timeout", for ME, perfectly timed for today!

A real attitude adjustment for a 45 yr old brat!

Boy, did I need it!!


Happy Holidays,
Shelly

Blessed

Today's post is very simple. I am blessed. I am beyond thankful today as I reflect on the many blessings in my life.  Without a doubt, I an grateful for an amazing husband, 4 beautiful children whom are compassionate and passionate and who serve the Lord in every aspect of their lives.

Of course I am grateful for an amazing, smart, handsome, funny, perfect grandson. ( I could go on, but I'll try to show some restraint)

I am grateful for an amazing family, who stands together through thick and thin.

I am grateful for a just, merciful and faithful God and I am grateful that I can have a personal relationship with Him.

I am grateful to live in a country that is FREE.

What are you grateful for today?

I know that life is challenging and I know that there are stresses around every corner. It is easy to get caught up in "what I don't have". When we compare ourselves to others, isn't it funny how we usually "compare up". We see what we don't have compared to others, we feel sorry for ourselves, or we feel angry at the situation, or we feel that life just is not fair.

Guess what? you are correct, life is not fair!!

Use this list to make your comparison......



If you have food in your fridge, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of the world.
If you have money in the bank, your wallet, and some spare change you are among the top 8% of the wordl’s wealthy.
If you woke up this morning with more health than illness you are more blessed than the million people who will not survive this week.
If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the agony of imprisonment or torture, or the horrible pangs of starvation vou are luckier than 500 million people alive and suffering.
If you can read this message you are more fortunate than 3 billion people in the world who cannot read it at all.


Now, readjust your mindset and spend today giving thanks, really giving thanks!!

You are Blessed!!

Happy Thanksgiving,
Shelly