Usually, I blog on Thursday or Friday. By the end of the week I have received an idea from God. I figure He gives me a word for those who read my blog.
This past week, Thursday came and no idea, same with Friday. Ok I figured , maybe I just skip a week. No big Deal. I mean, I am just treating this blog like a vessel, letting God work through me to reach others. Very righteous! Don't you think?
I thought so.
I was wrong.
I will tell you that I have not been in the holiday spirit. Actually, I've been a BRAT!
This past weekend I found myself in a really crappy place. I am sick of crunching numbers, I am sick of trying to be sure everyone has everything for Christmas. I am overwhelmed at the prospect of baking and wrapping and crafting, cleaning and laundry and bill paying. It was to the point where I had an I don't care attitude.
It gets better, just when I think that we may be able to make all ends meet. My vehicle needs brakes. Oh yea, and tires. Seriously? Now? 3weeks before Christmas.
I was ticked.
C'mon , I decided to cop an attitude, a BIG one!
I thought to myself this is ridiculous. My husband works so hard so that we can have the things we need. I have been trying to get gifts and plan for the Holidays. Let's just throw a wrench in there.
Well, I kept up the attitude all weekend.
Today was Sunday and I even thought. "I don't feel like going to church". " I don't feel like worshipping"
Well, I went anyway, to be completely honest, I went because I thought it was communion Sunday and Michael and I always serve. I didn't want to let anyone down.
So, I took my bratty attitude and I went to church, begrudgingly.
Well, no surprise, My heavenly Father showed up and you know what He did?
He gave me a "timeout"
You parent's out there know exactly what I mean. When your child isn't listening or they have a disrespectful attitude, they need a "timeout"
When you are young.you may sit for a few minutes. My grandson gets a "timeout" and he sits for a few minutes. Then he will say"sorry mama". My daughter, will patiently explain to him why he was disciplined and life goes on. An example of excellent parenting ( if I do say so myself).
This discipline was administered from a place of love and compassion.
When you are a little older, a timeout may be relinquishing your cellphone or driving privileges.
Well, let me tell you what a timeout from the Lord looks like when it is administered to a bratty 45yr old.
As, I stood in church listening to the worship music, still having a rather large chip on my shoulder,
a young man came and sat a few seats from me. He is a teenager and I am acquainted with him. He is the ONLY member of his family serving God. He makes his way to church every Sunday and every Wednesday,in spite of some unfortunate circumstances.
Next, in comes my aunt. like she does every Sunday. Only today, she has pictures of her recent missions trip to Guatemala. Pictures of the dump, the shacks that people call home and the children who don't attend school because they are busy caring for their siblings.
Then, I look at the man in front of me. He is my father-in-law and I am reminded that he has buried 3 of his 4 children.
The list goes on and on all through service: A mother whose children don't serve God
A 3 yr old battling cancer
A precious 2yr old who spent the majority of his life in Foster Care
Let me tell you, that chip on my shoulder, became tears on my face as I realized that God wasn't just disciplining one of His children. He was patiently explaining to me, where I went wrong.
Another example of excellent parenting. Administered from a place of love and compassion.
SO, I will finish by saying. The word that the Lord gave me this week, was delayed for a reason.
The word that I was waiting to receive, in order to help all of you strengthen your walk with The Lord.
It was actually a spiritual "timeout", for ME, perfectly timed for today!
A real attitude adjustment for a 45 yr old brat!
Boy, did I need it!!
Happy Holidays,
Shelly
Tears were on my cheeks as I read this. I, too, had some of those same feeling this weekend- almost frustrated with God because I couldn't provide 'enough' for my family. God is so good to give us perspective when we need it- thank you for helping me gain that perspective today.
ReplyDeleteI distinctly heard God ask me " When is enough ,enough"? I realized today that I have had a completely misguided focus. I let my attitude really cloud my vision. I thank God that HE brought everything right back into focus. I really needed it!
ReplyDeleteAww, THANK YOU SOO MUCH FOR BEING REAL AND HONEST. I have been feeling these same feelings for weeks now and your post has encouraged my heart!
ReplyDeleteThank You!! When I started this post, i really wanted it to be a place where people could encourage one another. I didn't not want there to be pretense, I didn't want anyone to feel that i was "preaching" at them. I just want to write my experiences in hopes that it encourages someone. What I have found is that I have been encouraged by all of you.
ReplyDeleteby the way, I am still fighting this battle. I just keep praying and praising through!!