30 yrs of Grace



It has been months since I have taken the time to sit and write....
But I could not let this day go by, without sharing this thought that The Lord has placed on my heart.


Do not Fear....
Do not Worry...
Do not Be Discouraged....


28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose....Romans 8:28

Let me tell you firsthand.......
This verse is truth.....and you know what?
He is even working things together for you,,,,,,if you don't serve Him.

I KNOW this is truth.......

It began 30yrs ago today.......

If you know my story, or you've followed my blog,
you know what I mean....

I was a 17yr old girl......
self-centered...foolish...cheerleader...honor student....
football star boyfriend.....best-dressed.....
I had EVERYTHING I needed.

I had no relationship with God...
I knew about Him...
I believed in Him....
I prayed..(when I needed something)

But I never really needed God.

That is why,,,,,when I found myself pregnant at 17....
I had no idea what to do...
This was certainly not a part of my plan....

I was beyond scared....beyond worried...
I don't even know how to express the fear that consumed me.

To me, my life was over.....
I was in such an emotional state that I could not see past this....
I could never imagine being "on the other side" of this situation.

It seemed so insurmountable to me...
I really thought that from that point on, my life would standstill.
I believed that I had no future...
I didn't even dare to dream...

After hiding and denying my pregnancy....
I told my family....
I went to the Dr for my first visit...
I was 24weeks.

I heard the heartbeat and I weighed my options....
And I have to admit that I had considered every option available...
including termination.

I was afraid and I COULD NOT see a light at the end of the tunnel....
But God.....
God got ahold of my heart...
and HE washed me in a peace like I had never known....

And I knew....
There was no more doubt.....
There was still some fear....
But I knew....

I was about to become a MOM.

God was working all things together for my good....
Even though I was not serving Him.....

I worried and I feared ....
I was uncertain of my future....
I thought my plans were dead....
Life was over....

But God knew....My life was just beginning....
The life that He created me for....according to His purpose
But God knew that giving birth to this child...
would not end my life....
But rather, save me from myself.

I can hardly fathom that it has been 30yrs from that day...
At the time, i thought that life was moving in slow motion...
That I would never be past that day...
That I would never be beyond the fear...

Now, I look back and say  "where has the time gone"
There are still so many seasons that I feel are eternal....
Where I worry and I fear.....
life's problems seem insurmountable.

And like everyone else.....
I become discouraged...and I forget...
If God was willing to work all things together on my behalf, when I wasn't serving Him...
How much more is He working now....
Now that I've surrendered to Him?

I am Grateful that I have days like this....
Reminders of just how much Grace our Father extends to us....
Today, 30yrs later...
Nothing is insurmountable.

Do not fear...
Do not worry...
Do not be discouraged...

He is working.

Dear Lord, Thank you for the beautiful blessing of my Tara Jean. she has changed the lives of so many..starting with my own....Amen

so undeserving,
shelly

LOVE SONGS


OK......So this is pretty funny...
It may seem to be a stretch, but stick with me...
I think it will make sense....
At least it did for me...

I was in my kitchen this morning...
I decided I was going to make Italian Wedding soup...
My son's favorite.

I turned on my little TV...
And I began mixing the meatball ingredients....
The minute I stuck my hands into all that raw meat.....
An infomercial started......

I was a captive audience...
There was no way I way going to touch that television....
My hands were elbow deep in meatball goop...
I wasn't touching anything.

Next thing I know....
I am completely into this thing....
My gaze is fixed on the screen....
I feel that lump forming in my throat...
Before I know it...
Tears are streaming down my cheeks.

That's right.....
I was moved to tears by an infomercial.
Which one you ask?

Power Of Love...Love songs from the 70's, 80's and 90's
Yep...I told you this was going to get a little crazy...
Every other song they played took me back ....
Memories flooded my mind.
There were songs that reminded me of my childhood...
They were the records that my parent's used to play.
Then all of my favorites from high school...
Representing true love and true heartbreak....
Music from my days of hitting the club...
Tearing up the dance floor.

And there I was....
In my kitchen....
Rolling meatballs....
Reliving my past.

When I heard the voice of God....
He said.....
"There you go"

What?
What do you mean?
There you go?

Then I remembered....
Just this past Wednesday...
I was ticked...
Really angry.

I was mad at God...
And I let Him know it.
I said it right out loud...

"This is not fair....This is not where I wanted to be at 47yrs old"

Believe me...everyone in my house knew what I was feeling..
I texted my daughter, Tara and I told her.
Tara sent me back encouraging texts....
Telling me to look at all of the blessings I had received.

My children and grandchildren...
MY amazing husband..
God's provision during this entire season.

Yea..Yea...I know...
I was being a brat...
I didn't care about that...
This was not the life that I had signed up for....
I'm pretty sure that I said that aloud too.

My daughter, Taylor called me...
More encouraging words...
Telling me how this struggle has taught her...
Has been an example to her...
How to stick it out, and wait on God.

Again...Yea...Yea ...I know
Not what I wanted to hear.

But, today....
Elbow deep in meat muck...
God admonished me...
For being a brat...

And He did it through an infomercial of cheesy Love songs....
You see....back when I was listening to that music....
I thought I was "all that"

God wasn't factored into the equation...
He was no part of my future plans...
I didn't really know Him....
I didn't really need Him...
Or seek His plan for my life.

I wanted to be somebody....
I wanted to be important....
I wanted alot of "things"..
I wanted people to want to be me.

I know...sad and shallow.

Now....I realize that I was absolutely right...
This was not what I  had expected my life to be like at 47....
Life is definitely not fair....
If life were fair....I'd be miserable and self-centered...
I may have acquired many "things"...
But, I would have missed out on true love.
I would've missed being a Mom and a Grandma..
I would've missed out on so many blessings

I never again want to think about the life I should've had..
I want to send my time.appreciating the life that I do have...

I want to spend my time thanking God...
Not only for this life and all of it's blessings....
But...for His sense of humor....
For using a silly infomercial to teach me a lesson.

And because I am stubborn....
He made sure to do it....
When my hands were a mess...
And I couldn't change the channel.

Arghh.....Love songs of the 70's 80's and 90's are stuck in my head...
I'll be singing them all day.

I'm sure it's God's way of helping me to remember...
What a sense of humor.

Power of Love,
shelly

THE HAND BASKET


I have had enough.....
How many times have we heard...
"If we rely on this next generation....
we will go to hell in a hand basket"

Well......
I beg to differ..
I have a huge problem with that.

Research show that this "next generation"
These 13-30 yr olds....
They are the first generation where their desire to make this world better....
Exceeds their desire to acquire stuff.

They have a compassion for people....
they are aware of injustice and they want to change it...
This age group logs more volunteer hours...
than any other generation....
More than any other generation in history.


And people dare say that they are the ones carrying this hand basket?

I daresay that we are the ones that handed them the hand basket....
They are the ones with the courage to put it down.

I witnessed this firsthand....
This past July, I had the privilege to act as chaperone to four teens....
We went to Columbus, Ohio...
To participate in The National Youth Convention.

9000 young people were there....
Each offering up their talent and gifts to the Lord....
Every one of the 9000....Praying and seeking...
Wanting God to move in their lives...
Having a deep, genuine desire to be used by God...

I was put to shame, as I stood there in a packed out arena...
And I heard these teens calling on God....
Not just for their direction...
but for this hurting and broken world.

That's right, these young people...
They were praying for us....
our generation....
The people who gave them the basket and said...
"Good Luck"....this world is doomed...

Wow....did they respond....
They took a look at that basket.....
they decided....
Let's change this....
Put the basket down....

Let's pick up the heart of Jesus....
Let's be a light in this world....
Instead of carrying a hand basket to Hell....

Why don't we just open our arms...
and carry this world into heaven...

I am challenged by this generation....
They step out of their comfort zone....
The go out of their way....
The sacrifice their time and their possessions....

They risk ridicule and rejection...
These kids don't care....
The will do anything...not to pick up that basket.

I desire...No, I need to be more like them...
This next generation...
I want to step out...
to make a difference.....

And...I want to set down that hand basket....
set it down because it's empty....

Because, my arms are full.....
and I'm on my way "UP"



1 Peter 2:9The Message (MSG)

9-10 But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.



Thank you...young people.
Thank you for inspiring me...
And accept my apology..
I never should have handed you that basket.

Inspired,
shelly

FIRE

I have had this chip on my shoulder.....
I want answers and to be honest.....
I don't want to wait any longer.

I feel that I have done my part...
Read my Bible daily?.......check
seek the Lord daily?.....check
Tithe faithfully?.....check
Raise my children to know the Lord?....check

I have followed all of the requirements...
Now, where are my blessings?

I don't mean any disrespect...
I love Christ with my entire being...
But, I'm tired of waiting.


Well, today as I was walking....
I decided to ask Him....

Where are my answers God?
I serve you....
My husband serves you.
My children serve you.

I have had enough of the struggle...
it has been 4 months....
Four LONG months.

When Michael and I both had heard from God...
We decided that he would resign from his teaching job.
Michael was frustrated and withdrawn...
Our family was feeling the impact of that.
I had heard from God.....
He asked me...."Do you trust me?"
"Do you believe that I will provide?"
"Will you give it to me...Let go?"

Of course...my response was, Yes.
Immediately, I thought that a new opportunity would be knocking at the door...
Why else would God ask me to let go?

It has been 4 months....
I am tired of waiting...
so today... I asked God

Where are you?
Why did you ask Michael to resign...if there is no plan?
Do you realize how long it has been?


And then, suddenly...
all of these things began bombarding me....

Because we obeyed God.....
Michael has found a peace in himself that he had been missing...
He is more relaxed...more connected....
more involved.

Because we obeyed God.....
I have learned to relinquish control...
I have learned patience...
I have learned just how strong my marriage is....

Because we obeyed God.....
My children have come to me...
to say that they are inspired by our faith...
that we are an example of how to stick it out...
how to trust and believe...together.

Because we obeyed God....
we have learned that God is faithful....
that what He said, He will do.

Because we obeyed.....
We have experienced that God is the God of Provision
That He will meet EVERY ONE of our needs.

As I returned home from my walk...
That chip was gone....
My heart was full...

God had Michael resign .....
Not to throw us into the fire...
But to use the fire to refine us....
To allow us to test Him at His word...

To bring our family,
Our marriage.
Our relationship with Him...
to a new level.

Our God is faithful...
I wouldn't trade these past 4 months...
Not even for the greatest job opportunity.

We are still believing that He will provide the perfect job...
at the perfect time...
But in the meantime....
We will trust and wait...
and continue to grow.

And maybe, just maybe we will bask in the flame...
Because we know...the heat produces the glory.

6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.....1Peter1:6-7



Changed by the Fire,
shelly

THE MUDDY EYE

Have you ever experienced one of those weeks?
You know what I mean....
Everything "rubs you the wrong way"

Well, I am a 47yr old woman...
With hot flashes...
and perhaps.....
Possibly...a hormonal moment...
or two....

I have just experienced that kind of week.

The one thing that was totally getting on my nerves this past week....
Yep...you guessed it....
My husband.

OK, I don't know about you..
but when I'm in this perturbed kind of place...
I am not my most gracious....

As I had mentioned in a previous post...
Michael and I really felt led by God...
for him to resign from his teaching career.

He had been a teacher for 19yrs...
he no longer had the passion...
and he was miserable....
We all were miserable...

Well, that was in May...
and we are waiting....
Waiting on God to provide a new opportunity.

Well, that is what sparked my mood...
I was sick and tired of waiting...
and I wanted Michael to make something happen.

I didn't tell him that...
At least not verbally...
Instead....I just let him know that he was bugging me in a more subtle way.

Like...getting up and moving when he sat next to me on the couch...
Or....tensing up when he would try to hug me..
OK, sometimes I would resort to words and I'd exclaim...
In my "possessed" voice...
You're bugging me!!!

On saturday I had enough of the waiting...
enough of the "God will provide" mentality...
I was ready to strike...
And MIchael was my target.

I am not proud of my actions...
and I am not proud that I accused him of not wanting to do better by us.
My Pride and my fear were like blinders..
I only saw what I had assumed he wasn't doing.

Forward to sunday morning...
Yep, we were in church...
Yep, I was still "copping an attitude"...
Yep, The Lord adjusted my attitude.

My husband was on Worship Team..
Playing his heart out on "Genevieve"
( The name he chose for his guitar)..
And he was still "bugging me"

Yep...even in church

" Your Love Never Fails
  It Never Gives Up
  It Never Runs Out On Me"

Ok....Here's the lesson for me...
Do you know what my husband did....
He closed his eyes, raised his hands in surrender...
And he sang those words...
To God....in worship.

Now I was really annoyed....just kidding.
Actually I was really humbled...
and at that exact moment.....

I saw Michael for who he is...
A man after God's own heart....
A man who will worship when the situation is tough....
A man who will surrender and follow God's lead.

It reminded me of the blind man in the Book of John.....

 ¹¹ He replied, “The man they call Jesus made some mud and put it on my eyes. He told me to go to Siloam and wash. So I went and washed, and then I could see.”..John9:11

That is exactly what The Lord did for me....
My eyes had been blinded by pride...and annoyance and uncertainty.
He took the muck and mire that I was throwing at Him..
and he put it on my eyes......
 Muddy Eyes....

And in the same way that Jesus told this blind man....
That he had to go wash his eyes to receive the miracle...
I had to wash out my mind....let go of the expectation..
I had to activate my miracle.

And only then..

I could see...
not just see clearly...
But I could see Michael as Jesus saw him....

I could see God at work in our lives...
and I know that He is at work in our situation.

Be careful..... temporary blindness can have a permanent effect.

Grateful to be serving a miracle working God,                                                                                            
 shelly